I've got so much more selfish in me. With time I feel like I learn more and more about myself and who I am. With adding little fur ball Finley I've learned even more. I've learned that I am selfish with my time and that I'm in no hurry to add anything else to my life that will take away my freedom. For a while there I was so consumed with baby fever. Maybe it was because my best friend got pregnant and then had her gorgeous baby girl, or that other friends were adding to their families, that everyone in blogland seemed to be getting knocked up, or that Dave and I have a great list of possible names for future kids (what couple doesn't have a running list). Whatever it was I was aching for it. But since getting Finley (yes I realize he's a dog and not a human kid-but he's still a lot of work) I've found out just how selfish I am. I love him (at times), yes, but not as much as I thought I would. I haven't attached myself the way I thought I would to him. Yes I post pictures, I play, I feed him and take him out but there's also a little part of me that doesn't like him because I have to constantly watch him-like take your eye off him for a second and you have a huge shit pile in the living room kinda watch him. I have to schedule my day around taking him out every few hours and I miss my carefree lifestyle before we brought him home. But he's so stinkin' cute that it makes up for it (mostly) and he's part of our family now and I do love him.
But this is where I am now a days, and it's a really healthy and good place for me to be. I'm not comparing myself to friends that have babies or have babies on the way. In time I pray Dave and I will have that too but I have a lot of selfish still in me and I'm not ready to fully give that up just yet. You can't put a baby in a crate and leave the house-or so I'm told.
This. Sometimes you have to step away from 'magic land' aka Facebook/Instagram/blog world, because it's just a tiny piece of people's lives, as it should be. I don't ever want kids, like ever. Nick knows that, and we're allowing ourselves to bring the conversation up later in life to see if we change our mind around ages 35-40. Considering I have known I have not wanted kids since I was 17 and now going on 27, I don't see it changing, but who knows. We enjoy free time, having money, spending money, and not having to be responsible for anyone but ourselves. With as many women who say they want babies, there as many saying they don't. Nothing to feel bad about, although people will try their hardest to tell you it is something to feel about. It's not. And for those who say "it's so worth it" good for them, that's exactly how I feel when I spend money on Louboutin's--which I know I won't be able to wear if I had a kid. No thank you!!! And as a dog owner, I totally understand the "my dog is annoying me" days. It happens. I have a chihuahua terrier, I call her the terrorist. Haha
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