April 10, 2012


Nicole and I are taking a R.A.D class (Rape Aggression Defense) at work. Last night was our third session (out of four) and it is really inspiring. I think every woman should take a class like this sometime in their life. The statistics are astonishing for sexual assault and it's nice to know that if it came down to it I have options to help myself get out an uncomfortable situation- whether it be by using my voice or knowing some moves to assist with my safety if ever confronted with a situation.
Our instructor suggested that we read, The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker, and even though I'm only 22% done with the book (thank you Kindle for the percentage amount!) I've learned a lot. It's a fascinating book about your intuition and how you should always trust your "gut feeling" because it's there to protect you. More often than not your intuition has picked up on things that you just haven't processed yet and if you listen to it you can avoid dangerous situations.
I wanted to share one line from the book because I think as women we tend to not want to hurt people's feelings. We don't want to come off as a bitch to a stranger, but when it comes to our personal safety I would rather come off looking a little harsh to some well meaning man than come off as weak to a potential aggressor.
" 'No' is a word that must never be negotiated, because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you."
The book expands on that quote with many different examples. But basically if you don't feel comfortable in a situation and you say no and that "helpful stranger" won't take no as your answer you should ask yourself WHY not.
Thankfully I have never run into a situation where I have felt that my body or well being has been threatened but I also think that I'm pretty smart in the ways that I go about living my life. I check the backseat of my car before getting in, I leave a light on if I'm coming home late, the doors are always locked, I try to not go out alone after dark, and I get my keys out before getting to my car. And while all these things I do won't prevent something from happening to me I know that it's increasing my safety by being aware of my surroundings and the potential threats out there.
This class has come at the perfect time for me because since the move I'm a little more wary. With Dave I always feel safe and protected which is just one of the many reasons I love him so much. But as of now I'm getting used to a house that I still don't know all the sounds to, a new area, and a different experience of living alone (if only for a little while).

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